My Memoirs

Mr. Binder, one of my favorite customers, passed away. I just saw the notice in today’s paper. He was such a nice old man. He has (or should I say, had) a dog named Kerrie. Kerrie is a morbidly obese Airedale Terrier with a heart of gold for humans, especially Mr. Binder, but a vengeance in her soul for every four-legged creature in existence. Now, Mr. Binder was a rather portly gentleman with a heart of gold to match Kerrie’s. They were two peas in a pod. The funniest thing that I have ever seen was during a visit at work from Mr. Binder.

Mr. Binder dropped Kerrie off for a day at the spa. When it was time for Kerrie to go home, I brought her to the front desk, where Mr. Binder was waiting for her. He was standing at the desk with Dawn, the receptionist. Kerrie saw him and was so excited to see him (as she normally was) that she immediately began jumping all around like a lunatic. As I had mentioned, Mr. Binder was a rather portly fellow. He had his trousers pulled up around his rotund midriff, with no belt. Well, Kerrie kept jumping and jumping and pulled his pants right down! I mean, they were on the floor! I immediately flew behind the wall and left him there with Dawn. I didn’t know what else to do. There was nothing TO do. I waited for him to pull his pants back up & finally came out from behind the wall. As an 80+-year-old man, he was well past the age of being embarrassed by anything, like when you’re that old, your teeth can fall out at the dinner table & it doesn’t faze you in the least bit. He looked at me and said “I bet you’ll put THAT in your memoirs.” I smiled and said “yeah, that’s for sure.” Then as he walked out, he said, as he always said, “may the Good Lord take a likin’ to ya.”

So, here I am, putting that story in my memoirs. I hope you find this as funny as I did when it happened. Oh, and may the Good Lord take a likin’ to you!